Being friends after dating

Last year, I got so used to a limited social life and a lack of local confidantes, that I stopped noticing how lonely I was.

A trip back to New England—where old friends seemed very interested in spending time with me—reminded me of what I was missing.

They have absolutely nothing in common except for their weekly dinner ritual.

So when I arrived in Colorado, I made a resolution to actively seek out friendships.

It will give you a night off from eating Lean Cuisine, and there is nothing like home-cooked food to help people feel welcome and connected.

By inviting a small number of new acquaintances, you won’t have to worry about keeping the conversation going all by yourself—your other guests can help you.

So challenge yourself to dust off that old recipe book, and host a dinner party for a few people you hardly know.

Make a decision that you will show up in the world as someone who is worth having as a friend.

That way your energy, honesty, and caring personality will draw people to you when you meet. Reflect on the qualities you are looking for in a friend Even though you don’t have enough (any?

I felt a little embarrassed that she had pulled off something in a few months that I hadn’t managed in well over a year.

I realized that I had fallen for a self-fulfilling prophecy: That you can’t make friends over 50 because everybody in that age group already has enough friends. There are lots of people out there who need or want friends: Their lives may have been jolted by geographic moves, divorce, or loss of a spouse or partner.

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